Invasion Day!!

Happy Invasion day Australia!
Hopefully by this time next year we will have acknowledged
our Nation's first peoples, said sorry, awarded compensation
to the Stolen Generation, put full Medical, Dental care in
place, created more schools and appointed more teachers,
built more homes, provided more running water and electricity
given more jobs, supported more mothers and lifted the pride
and life expectancy of these wonderful nations.

Then I may consider ( ESPECIALLY) if they change the date to
something like 'Sorry Day' ( 26 May) for "Australia Day" instead of
26 January when the English declared this 'empty land' for
Britain!
Bah!

(BTW Computer has been kaputt for nearly a week. Finally
retrieved it after handing over a substantial amount of
pension and have now to get the printer port fixed. That can wait.
Now put on all the Blogs that have disappeared along with the
old hard drive. Blah!)

For all those who want to know what Australian men are
really like, here are a few tips on Australian 'etiquette'.

(Vale Heath Ledger. Sad sad sad..same age as my eldest daughter.
Sad!)

Australian Etiquette.

IN GENERAL
1.. Never take an open stubby to a job interview.
2.. Always identify people in your paddocks before shooting at them.
3.. It's tacky to take an Esky to church.
4.. If you have to vacuum the bed, it's time to change the sheets.
5.. Even if you're certain you're included in the will, it's rude
to take your ute and trailer to the funeral.
DINING OUT
1.. When decanting wine from the box, tilt the paper cup and
pour slowly so as not to bruise the wine.
2.. If drinking directly from the bottle, hold it with only one hand.
ENTERTAINING IN YOUR HOME
1.. A centre piece for the table should never be anything
prepared by a taxidermist.
2.. Don't allow the dog to eat at the table, no matter how good his manners.
PERSONAL HYGIENE
1.. While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this should be done in private,
using one's OWN Ute keys.
2.. Even if you live alone, deodorant isn't a waste of money.
3.. Extensive use of deodorant can only delay bathing by a few days.
4.. Dirt and grease under the fingernails is a no-no, it alters the taste of
finger foods and if you are a woman it can draw attention
away from your jewellery.
DATING
1.. Always offer to bait your date's hook - especially on the first date.
2.. Be assertive. Let her know you're interested: "I've been wanting to go out
with you ever since I read that stuff on the dunny door two years ago."
3.. Establish with her parents what time she's expected back. Some will say
11:00 PM, others might say "Monday." If the latter is the answer, it's the
man's responsibility to get her to school on time.
THEATRE ETIQUETTE
1.. Crying babies should be taken to the lobby and picked up after the movie
ends.
2.. Refrain from yelling abuse at characters on the screen. Tests have proven
they can't hear you.
WEDDINGS
1.. Livestock is a poor choice for a wedding gift.
2.. Kissing the bride for more than five seconds may cause a drop in your
popularity. (Excessive use of the tongue is also considered out of place)
3.. For the groom, at least, rent a tux. A tracksuit with a cummerbund and a
clean football jumper can create a tacky appearance.
4.. Though uncomfortable, say "yes" to socks and shoes for the occasion.
DRIVING ETIQUETTE
1.. Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles, even if your gun
is loaded and the roo is in your rifle sight.
2.. When entering a roundabout, the vehicle with the largest
roo bar doesn't always have the right of way.
3.. Never tow another car using panty hose and duct tape.
4.. When sending your wife down the road with a petrol can,
it's impolite to ask her to bring back beer too.