Success!

Katherine Hepburn and Spencer Tracey were playing out their movie Woman of the Year.
She said; "That will be me one day".

Later I said; "You have said a couple of times that you will be a success. What is your definition of that?"

She said;
"What I am now. I am a success in my field. I feel a success."

I thought;
(But did not say)
"No babies, no family ties, no curled fists around your own, now visitors at Christmas, no Santa Claus playing, no hiding Easter eggs, no smell of the belly of the new born, no sucking of tiny toes, no feeling the love of your man as you put the breast to the babies mouth.
What is this success of yours? Infamy, Celebrity, Notoriety, Named writer? What is it?

If that is 'success' then I am sad.
Because one day as you lay sick, or old, or infirmed, or depressed, or lonely you will find no warmth in your type of 'success'.
Because one day when you see the rainbow of your desire, you see the river running clear, you see the wisdom of your days, you feel the warmth on your skin of those who once loved you, you will not have anyone to share that with who will carry it on to the future.

Within Eternal life is the birth of the new born who will WILL remember YOU. Not your work, or your pretences or your infamy, but you YOU.

Those who speak of YOU ( not your writings, or your achievements) you those who knew and loved you and spoke your name in, with love, give you eternal life.

So;
What is this success you say you want, you have, you desire, you strive for?

The Mormans have a saying.
They say; No amount of success in the world is a substitute for failure in the home.

Where will your home be?
Coz home is not a place. It is a warmth that is emblazoned by the love of those you love.

You say so many times, so MANY times that 'they' LOVE you.
They don't know you.

That is not love.

THIS is love.
I am love.
I conceived you with, in and of love.
I love you even now as you 'mwah' me goodbye and mouth platitudes deserving of a stranger.
I love you for that little blonde head that pushed itself against my breast in hunger, in pain, in laughter, in fear.
I love you now for the woman you are becoming but I worry.

Your reading of 'success' is not what we wished for you. It is a pie crust success. Made with talent but easily broken and forgotten.

I love you.
YOU.
Not that pretend thing that strides into my life once a year.

So.

Don't wish for success. I wish for you failure so you will find the success that only love can crown.

I wish love for you. Not the fake love of the theatre community, but that which comes from your soul, deep within your womb.
Don't leave it empty. It may be too late soon. So be careful for what you wish for ....you may end up alone.

I am afraid for you."

Thirty Six

No not my age...but the length of time that the man in my life has nurtured, loved, tolerated, husbanded me.

Today ( 36 years ago) at 6pm he ran across the Church lawn to be at the alter to receive me. He was late and I was trying to be....but couldn't...and it has been like that ever since.

He has given me love and fidelity and laughter.
There has been pain and loss and poverty, but our love and our joined commitment to each other before we were legally married saw us through till now.
There had been sickness and health, love and some obeying but in equal measures one to the other. There has been poorness but not richness. It has been hard as all get out and has been full of strain, stress, agony and horror. But what sustained us was our mutual friendship, trust, honesty one to the other and very very very very good sex.

All those old married people who leave that last bit out do not have a true 'marriage'.
Without that last bit it is a good friendship.

Thank you to He Who Must Be Obeyed for he has given me the weft and warp of my life, texture, colour, meaning and purpose...and most of all he has given me three children and he has given me, ME.

Thank you sweetie pie.

Thirty six years plus, cos we did 'try before we bought' and we liked what we tried.

Love you to the sky and back.

Your little wombat. xxxx

Merry Christmas

Make a Smilebox greeting

What?

Cannot believe what is happening to the Liberal Party here in Oz.
So so weird to put the 'mad monk' in charge and expect there to be a fresh following.
This little Catholic who tried to block RU486, freedom of women to chose abortion and who succeeded in stopping the introduction of voluntary euthanasia and he says;

"Don't take any notice of what I have said before, it is now a fresh start."

Well NO you little slim ball NO!

You were not precient enough to keep your religious views out of politics so now you can wallow in failure.
You who 'admire' that little hasbeen HoWARd and encouraged the attitudes of hatred to Muslims and took us to war and distorted the truth about asylum seekers.

Stuff you you little pig.