My god - ess
Sunday, 24 October 2010
Monday, 18 October 2010
Sunday, 10 October 2010
10/10/10
And so thirty one years ago at this very time a baby girl was pushed into the world, gently, quietly, softly and put to the breast. No gowning, no sterilised ward, no fussing machines, no bossy doctors or nurses. Just an accepting doctor who believed a woman's body knew what to do as well as an attentive and still midwife who murmured reassurances as required.
Her eyes opened in wonder, no cry left her lips. She looked directly into my eyes as she was lifted onto my stomach, as the lights were dimmed so as not to pierce the newborn sight.
The main person present was the dad. He calmly lifted the new born from her place on my front and placed her in the bath and swooshed her up and down.
Her face fell back into an ecstacy and her fingers grasped her fathers. Her ears uncoiled from her head and opened like a butterfly's wing, transparent and beautifully pink.
She turned her head and caught my gaze. I took a breath, supped in like honey, and held it as I studied her naked beauty. She was a nice size, a nice colour and a nice slender length.
I fell in love with her, this baby of mine, in the dim light of a birthing centre. From that very moment she taught me to take care with what I said, how I said it and to keep things as even as possible.
It was not always possible.
But I tried.
I was twenty six years old, just.
And she is now thirty one.
And has not had this experience.
How sad.
Well...not yet.
It is a gift to all women to be able to take control as much as they can of this life affirming event. It makes you feel strong, able, loved, supported and knowing. You KNOW without a doubt the purpose of life. You have felt it in your body, moving, kicking, sliding, hiccoughing, squeezing the breath out of you. And then YOU squeeze the life into it.
I am fifty seven.
I can relive this like it was now.
How sad I am for mankind, man-kind, for they have to develop pretend friends, and pretend power and pretend strengths in an attempt to equal this event.
They never ever will.
And so with the help and support of good and honest medical people and a wonderful and caring man, I was able to have this experience, three times in my life.
If you want to know why I don't believe in god, then understand this; nothing can ever replace that as the experience of life giving goodness and mercy. It is the very being, essence of life itself. There is no need of a god, a pretend being, a pretend invisible friend. For within the growing womb was the the thing invisible to all but me and then it came into being, by, through, because of the two of us.
Without all those thousands of ancestors that went before this one human would not be here.
Happy Birthday to my most amazing daughter.
Her eyes opened in wonder, no cry left her lips. She looked directly into my eyes as she was lifted onto my stomach, as the lights were dimmed so as not to pierce the newborn sight.
The main person present was the dad. He calmly lifted the new born from her place on my front and placed her in the bath and swooshed her up and down.
Her face fell back into an ecstacy and her fingers grasped her fathers. Her ears uncoiled from her head and opened like a butterfly's wing, transparent and beautifully pink.
She turned her head and caught my gaze. I took a breath, supped in like honey, and held it as I studied her naked beauty. She was a nice size, a nice colour and a nice slender length.
I fell in love with her, this baby of mine, in the dim light of a birthing centre. From that very moment she taught me to take care with what I said, how I said it and to keep things as even as possible.
It was not always possible.
But I tried.
I was twenty six years old, just.
And she is now thirty one.
And has not had this experience.
How sad.
Well...not yet.
It is a gift to all women to be able to take control as much as they can of this life affirming event. It makes you feel strong, able, loved, supported and knowing. You KNOW without a doubt the purpose of life. You have felt it in your body, moving, kicking, sliding, hiccoughing, squeezing the breath out of you. And then YOU squeeze the life into it.
I am fifty seven.
I can relive this like it was now.
How sad I am for mankind, man-kind, for they have to develop pretend friends, and pretend power and pretend strengths in an attempt to equal this event.
They never ever will.
And so with the help and support of good and honest medical people and a wonderful and caring man, I was able to have this experience, three times in my life.
If you want to know why I don't believe in god, then understand this; nothing can ever replace that as the experience of life giving goodness and mercy. It is the very being, essence of life itself. There is no need of a god, a pretend being, a pretend invisible friend. For within the growing womb was the the thing invisible to all but me and then it came into being, by, through, because of the two of us.
Without all those thousands of ancestors that went before this one human would not be here.
Tuesday, 5 October 2010
Norman - Vale
NORMAN WISDOM 1915-2010
Here is the man who personified my youth, my growing in laughter, my father's sense of the absurd.
He is the one who when people say to me; "Goodness you are easy to make laugh" I think of in my childhood.
I have a book, called "Film Fun" put out by British film companies of the 1950's. He is on the back cover.
Norman embarrassed me and delighted me. He made me believe that we different people could 'get the girl in the end'.
I remember one scene when he was signing up for the armed forces in a British comedy. He was so embarrassed by his top nakedness that he got left his neck tie on and used it to cover his aeriola's. I was so embarrassed by this as a pre-teen, but also delighted by his overt coyness. It definitely mirrored my own.
So Norman...you lived a long and useful life. You were the epitome of the 'little man' who had a heart and had a sense of right.
Thank you;
Vale.
I shall remember you with a smile.
Here is the man who personified my youth, my growing in laughter, my father's sense of the absurd.
He is the one who when people say to me; "Goodness you are easy to make laugh" I think of in my childhood.
I have a book, called "Film Fun" put out by British film companies of the 1950's. He is on the back cover.
Norman embarrassed me and delighted me. He made me believe that we different people could 'get the girl in the end'.
I remember one scene when he was signing up for the armed forces in a British comedy. He was so embarrassed by his top nakedness that he got left his neck tie on and used it to cover his aeriola's. I was so embarrassed by this as a pre-teen, but also delighted by his overt coyness. It definitely mirrored my own.
So Norman...you lived a long and useful life. You were the epitome of the 'little man' who had a heart and had a sense of right.
Thank you;
Vale.
I shall remember you with a smile.
Monday, 4 October 2010
Rain and Other things
The rain slices sideways toward the windows in the gale of off shore winds. The river and creeks are swollen and the inhabitants hold their breaths. Fresh, clear, runoff is wasted sluicing down the gutters and drains of a dry country. This land is ancient and hungry for moisture.
Yet, here it is, deluged and swamped with water from the sky off the sea, from the land of this desert place.
What fools are we.
What amazingly stupid and arrogant idiots to mis-use such bounty.
But it has been ever thus.
And across the world is an old poor country setting itself up as a great host to rich and elite sportspeople. Whilst their millions ache with the stench of need, their government sets up running water and four walls for visitors without conscience.
And admist all this, a phone call from South Korea.
He explains his forgetfulness ....about friends visiting and being the perfect host and I nod and say; "Of course you have a life".
Then he begins his gift; a gift of words and realisations.
He talks on how it is that I am his mother and what I gave, dedicated, provided and finally, what I did to let him/them go. How hard was that he muses.
It was painful and awe-filled but necessary.
No, we say to 'well meaning' folk; we cannot go and visit any of them in different countries or states. We sit in our little hole and hold each other for warmth as we await their visitations like a religious disciple awaiting the coming of their Lord.
And so the rain pours and the tears have flowed from the eyes of a mother too much in love to be sane.
She/me has been to hell and back (in my own way) and now turn to a professional to put it all in place. A professional paid for by the tax payer.
The rain slaps and screams itself agains our home and the love for my children slaps and screams its way from my womanhood to the cosmos.
I am reborn.
Rain giveth, children giveth....and life will take me away through my death, from the very things I treasure.
Such is life.
Yet, here it is, deluged and swamped with water from the sky off the sea, from the land of this desert place.
What fools are we.
What amazingly stupid and arrogant idiots to mis-use such bounty.
But it has been ever thus.
And across the world is an old poor country setting itself up as a great host to rich and elite sportspeople. Whilst their millions ache with the stench of need, their government sets up running water and four walls for visitors without conscience.
And admist all this, a phone call from South Korea.
He explains his forgetfulness ....about friends visiting and being the perfect host and I nod and say; "Of course you have a life".
Then he begins his gift; a gift of words and realisations.
He talks on how it is that I am his mother and what I gave, dedicated, provided and finally, what I did to let him/them go. How hard was that he muses.
It was painful and awe-filled but necessary.
No, we say to 'well meaning' folk; we cannot go and visit any of them in different countries or states. We sit in our little hole and hold each other for warmth as we await their visitations like a religious disciple awaiting the coming of their Lord.
And so the rain pours and the tears have flowed from the eyes of a mother too much in love to be sane.
She/me has been to hell and back (in my own way) and now turn to a professional to put it all in place. A professional paid for by the tax payer.
The rain slaps and screams itself agains our home and the love for my children slaps and screams its way from my womanhood to the cosmos.
I am reborn.
Rain giveth, children giveth....and life will take me away through my death, from the very things I treasure.
Such is life.
Saturday, 2 October 2010
New Knowledge
Whilst perusing the written work and also some interviews on line with the great Christopher Hitchens ( who speaks for me) I came across two people of whom I knew nothing.
Firstly; A Philip Randolph http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A._Philip_Randolph
Secondly; Bayard Rustin http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bayard_Rustin
I quickly and thankfully googled their names and read extensively about their amazing lives.
Apparently these two great American men's names have been slowly slipping from the consciousness of the American history books.
This is sad and a traversty.
Their courage, their intelligence and determination speaks to the world of the great 'possibility' of democracy and freedom that was always the USA of my youth. How small America has become in its hell bent need to incorporate a god into everything they say, sing and declare. It could, by now be such a huge example as big as the amazing geography on which it physically stands. (Sometimes when watching the travelogues of the USA it takes my breath away at what a Natural gift that Land really is!!)
These men, these black men, are nothing short of heroic, in the true sense of the word, in their personal beliefs, in their private lives or in their guts to stand up for the rights of others.
How tiresome that the USA who fought two wars WITH Communists still has this left -over McCarthyistic attitude to those who believe in a truly Socialist way of sharing the wealth so that everyone will be taken care.
It also came to my attention that the American Constitution when first created, penned, considered and accepted was far more exact and determined in its precept in the separation of State and Religion.
The examples of how this could have gone 'pear shaped' in several States before the unification is palpable and proves the very reason of its importance. (eg Georgia, Maryland )
It seems that the 'Constitooshun' can be quoted, nay verballed, so quickly by those wanting to protect their own misbehaviours when in fact is a far more complex and demanding document. (In saying that I wish ours was as comprehensive and independent).
{The misunderstanding and mis-intent of 'right to bear arms' has already been addressed by me in other posts, but for those wanting a curb on the gun laws should revisit it and educate the masses.}
The co author with Thomas Jefferson, James Madison (author of Article 6: No chaplains to Congress or to the Armed Forces) would probably be considered not only 'un American' but subversive now. Even those espousing his/their intent may be considered traitors.
The clarity with how important the 'religious' were to be treated for the sake of the true 'freedom' Americans espouse is set down firmly and overtly in this great document. (That is religion should NOT get a look in anywhere in public life!)
HOWEVER it palls somewhat, not only as an 'outsider' but as an atheist to see, hear, and watch the religious take over of the American State. The number of 'false prophets' banging on and becoming rich is overwhelming and the need for the purging of same is imperitive eg.
(http://www.slate.com/id/2268796/)
By learning, reading and becoming aware of these great men, I am finding myself falling in love with USA as it could be, as it was expected and hoped to be by its (white) founders.
As Christopher writes ( now living, and sadly, dying in the USA) "Religions poison everything". It truly does!
http://www.hitchensweb.com/
Firstly; A Philip Randolph http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A._Philip_Randolph
Secondly; Bayard Rustin http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bayard_Rustin
I quickly and thankfully googled their names and read extensively about their amazing lives.
Apparently these two great American men's names have been slowly slipping from the consciousness of the American history books.
This is sad and a traversty.
Their courage, their intelligence and determination speaks to the world of the great 'possibility' of democracy and freedom that was always the USA of my youth. How small America has become in its hell bent need to incorporate a god into everything they say, sing and declare. It could, by now be such a huge example as big as the amazing geography on which it physically stands. (Sometimes when watching the travelogues of the USA it takes my breath away at what a Natural gift that Land really is!!)
These men, these black men, are nothing short of heroic, in the true sense of the word, in their personal beliefs, in their private lives or in their guts to stand up for the rights of others.
How tiresome that the USA who fought two wars WITH Communists still has this left -over McCarthyistic attitude to those who believe in a truly Socialist way of sharing the wealth so that everyone will be taken care.
It also came to my attention that the American Constitution when first created, penned, considered and accepted was far more exact and determined in its precept in the separation of State and Religion.
The examples of how this could have gone 'pear shaped' in several States before the unification is palpable and proves the very reason of its importance. (eg Georgia, Maryland )
It seems that the 'Constitooshun' can be quoted, nay verballed, so quickly by those wanting to protect their own misbehaviours when in fact is a far more complex and demanding document. (In saying that I wish ours was as comprehensive and independent).
{The misunderstanding and mis-intent of 'right to bear arms' has already been addressed by me in other posts, but for those wanting a curb on the gun laws should revisit it and educate the masses.}
The co author with Thomas Jefferson, James Madison (author of Article 6: No chaplains to Congress or to the Armed Forces) would probably be considered not only 'un American' but subversive now. Even those espousing his/their intent may be considered traitors.
The clarity with how important the 'religious' were to be treated for the sake of the true 'freedom' Americans espouse is set down firmly and overtly in this great document. (That is religion should NOT get a look in anywhere in public life!)
HOWEVER it palls somewhat, not only as an 'outsider' but as an atheist to see, hear, and watch the religious take over of the American State. The number of 'false prophets' banging on and becoming rich is overwhelming and the need for the purging of same is imperitive eg.
(http://www.slate.com/id/2268796/)
By learning, reading and becoming aware of these great men, I am finding myself falling in love with USA as it could be, as it was expected and hoped to be by its (white) founders.
As Christopher writes ( now living, and sadly, dying in the USA) "Religions poison everything". It truly does!
http://www.hitchensweb.com/
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