Another Year..another loss.

It is three years since my dad's funeral. Friday was the anniversary of me holding his hand and singing him to Death. Today is the anniversary of the public goodbye.

My sister and I shared some memories.
Here are a couple:

My Sister remembers -

    - whistling....whistling...
 - digging...digging....soft, moist, damp earth smells
 - "pooh! Facory"!
 - passionfruit, tomatoes, swedes, chokoes, mulberries, silkworms....
 - soapy, boiling linen
 - budgeriegars
 - South-West-Rocks and Crescent Head ("I can see the sea!!!")
 - fish, scales, guts, chooks, feathers, guts....
 - fairy-rings in the grass
 - telephones made from jam tins and strings
 - brown paper and string kites
 - picnic......chop, chop collecting wood
 - Henry Lawson....Banjo Patterson......On Our Selection......

I Added -

* Stories stories and more stories
* Bing Crosby, Duke Ellington
* Trombones and drums
* his laugh, his big belly laugh
* his wonder of nature and continual curiosity of it
* loving mum, loving mum
* being held out to wee on the grass at night
* Lying on the floor in the lounge room with the big old radio in front
of us listening to the Goons
* Having the fire so hot he would sit watching TV in his singlet.
* the smell of his sweat after being in the garden, that was always mixed with the
scent of chemical fertiliser and cow poo.
* His hands washing mine in the sink with lots of soap, sloshing and slippery...
* Singing singing singing

So much much more each one of these has a story of its own and each one evokes
in us a smell, a touch, a time very much connected to dad.

So tomorrow there is another little loss...the palm trees are coming down.
A gift from one child to her father.
I am sad to lose them..they represent my dreams, my Bali Hai, my personal dream.
But it is a gift from a child to her parent.
Who am I to complain?
It is to be done.

Sad, private, quiet sadness for the tree-lover, me.
Nothing quite like the moon filtering through the fronds.
Nor seeing the baby birds ( doves, lorikeets, fly-catchers, swallows, galahs
currawongs) nesting, feeding, flying hiding, sheltering under its nut cases.

So "lighten up Polly"...yeah right.
Nothing shows a hard heart like that comment!
Well 'bugger off' to anyone who thinks caring is intense.