From Saturday when I had to step aside and leave the situation and be on my own regarding the woman who gave birth to my man ( "mother" is too good a word for her) so he could visit and do 'HIS' thing, to a day of doctors, tests and stress, to catching up with work, like mowing, cutting down a tree, cleaning and walking goddess, I have to smile when others say; 'What DO you do all week'?
This being 'ill' is a full time job.
Having to keep reminding the self that personal aim is to learn how to be myself.
Keep reminding myself;
"What do YOU want to do. What do you want to eat. Where do you want to go"?
It is so foreign to me.
So I guess the feeling is 'nautiness' when I am being 'me.'
Keeping on trying.
It is exhausting and scary.
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