Once upon a time I knew a little boy who grew into a bigger boy.
I knew him quite well and marvelled at his ability to think, read, care and remember.
Then one day puberty hit and I lost my little boy.
He stopped talking.
Now he is far far away and has been for 6 years.
I see him for maybe 6 days a year.
I 'hear' from him about once every two months for 5 minutes.
I don't know him ...
But..I have memories and they are bitter sweet.
As are my sister's for her beloved second born soon to be 31 too.
The pain is awful.
And on bad days I wish it on them 10 fold, that kind of pain, so they could say;
"Oh I wish I had known how real that pain was for my mum!"
But it can't be.
Wishes and prayers do not come true.
Life is choas and life is delicious.
But life is also fragile and swift.
And in the end...the only thing that matters is love.
And with the passing of time,
All our mistakes, all our bad choices, all our shames and disappointments are blown away in the wind of time.
None of it stays long enough to matter for one second after we are dead.
And I find comfort in that.
My god - ess
2 comments:
And in the end...the only thing that matters is love.
And with the passing of time,
All our mistakes, all our bad choices, all our shames and disappointments are blown away in the wind of time.
None of it stays long enough to matter for one second after we are dead.
And I find comfort in that.
And well you should, because the love that surrounds us all will sustain us.
There is nothing written in stone that indicates love must be returned for it to be effective.
I vaguely remember a quotation by a noted psychiatrist R. D. Laing in his book "Knots". I lied, I don't remember it, I have it marked in the book before me. This is what he says:
A son should respect his father
He should not have to be taught to respect his father
It is something that is natural
That's how I've brought up my son anyway.
Of course a father must be worthy of respect
He can forfeit respect
But I hope at least that my son will respect me, if only for leaving him free to respect me or not.
I was always taken with that passage from the first time I read it. I suspect we could substitute the word love for the word respect and it would have as deep a meaning.
If you want to boggle your mind even further, you might stumble across a copy of Eckhart Tolle's book A new earth: Awakening to your life's purpose. I found it very helpful. Were I able to do so I would send you a copy.
In the meantime, love them all, especially him. We can ask no more of ourselves.
With love and respect I close asking you to continue to...
Serve with integrity, care about those you serve, and share the love in your heart.
Welcome home Jack. I have not been visiting my blog or others very much lately...I have lost something in it..maybe it is the contact that I needed and it no longer applies..except for you.
Thank you for all this meat to munger over...I shall mull and consider...and definitely, my son should respect his father...for he is the greatest OUR FATHER that has ever existed..he deserves, respect love and adoration, for I chose wisely when I chose this man to be the father of my children.
Must visit your blog soon.
Many thoughts fly over the Pacific to you and Maryann.
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