He said;
What a pathetic father I made
My son never came to me for advice, guidance, solace or experience.
He said;
What could I have done differently
Since I was working so much and sick so much
He said;
What good a father to such a son
When the latter never seeks out as much as a days investment in a relationship in over ten years.
He said;
I must move on
but how will he feel when he is 55 and thinking back over his life?
She said;
And your father?
He said;
It is true. The way I treated my father is the way my son treats me.
This coming from a gentle, loving, sweet and approachable man of great warmth, insight and generosity.
Isn't it time for we, the Baby boomer parents, to stop thinking it is all our fault.
It is time for the 31 year old son to stand up and see his father before it is too late.
It is not as though he hasn't experience the near loss before.
Or is that the very reason?
"He nearly died, he didn't, therefore he probably won't for a long time yet."
5 comments:
The pain of it all. My heart is heavy as I reflect upon your words. I am reminded of my own relationship with my mother, the only biological parent I know.
I would like to think that I was there, but I wasn't. She seemed to work diligently at keeping people from getting close. (There will be a posting or two on this subject in the near future. Mom's dying will come soon.)
I am sure that "he would be obeyed" was not that kind of father, at least not knowingly and with malice aforethought.
I was also struck with the idea of how you have come to consider the possibility of choice as viable construct for life.
I am more concerned with the feelings of failure and abandonment. At least, those are the words that come to my mind, and say more about me than your situation.
Love and warm embraces to you all.
Those words Jack of 'failure and abandonment' are exactly correct.That is what HWMBO feels exactly!
No.... he was an amazing father!
I could not have 'chosen' better for my children...but why doesn't the 'only begotten son' see that?
Ah me. -Sigh-
Were the son willing to be candid and point out the so-called transgression of dear dad, you would probably find it would be rather inconsequential.
Hopefully, you will be able to discover the reason. Perhaps one of his siblings will be able to help.
Give my best to HWWBO that I send my best to you both. Just remember keep the faith that the child will come back.
It is also his choice and loss. If only he would recognize that.
The loss is mainly ours, that is what is so sad..not that he won't 'come back' for he does. It is the lack of respect and recognition that is so frustrating.
Thanks for your input into this.
You're welcome.
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