An Oldie but with Modifications

Nine words women use...
1.) *Fine *: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
2.) *Five Minutes *: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
3.) *Nothing *: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
4.) *Go Ahead *: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!
5.) *Loud Sigh *: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)
6.) *That's Okay *: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
7.) *Thanks *: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome.
8.) *Whatever *: Is a women's way of saying "Fuck You".
9.) *Don't worry about it, I got it: *Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to #3.

I am an old libber from waaay back when it wasn't a dirty, misunderstood or derogatory word so putting this up on my own website is a bit of an anathema for me.
I have been through this group over and over.
I would like to clarify that for some women I have known number two is true. For me it is not.
If I say I will be five minutes I will be five minutes ( usually 4.5 minutes). Just ask my children. They know that if I say I will be there in 20 minutes I am there. I always felt that was the best way I could 'teach' them to trust me so I would have some credit when I required the trust in return. I NEVER went back on this 'agreement'. I also Never ever promised them anything I didn't/couldn't deliver. So if ( even now) I say I am going to 'promise' something they know I am fair dinkum. They could stake their lives on it.
If I am ever late ( which I never am) it is because I am, feeding the dog, washing the clothes, mowing the lawn, polishing shoes, cleaning the kitchen, taking a phone call that is important AND getting ready all at once. So while everyone else is getting ready, just looking after themselves I am doing everything else AND getting ready.

The other word that should be added here is;
Sorry.

Women always say "sorry". They are sorry if they step in front of you, if you run over their foot with the shopping trolley, if you hurt them in any way, if they take your parking spot, if they look fresh and clean, if their house is tidy, ...well for everything..the weather, the state of the Middle East, the heat, the cold, the food, the state of the economy...for everything.
This means:
Women have been bought up to believe that everything EVERYTHING is their fault. Even if they get raped, they get kicked out of a bad marriage, their children fail at school, it is all their fault...it all comes back to the "Good Book" and those that interpret it..whether it be the Torah, Koran or Bible they all strongly condemn women for ...well...for...being...
If a man can't keep his penis in his pants...well you know who to blame..don't you?
Sorry!