An Answer

This was an answer to a group of articles sent for comment, one being headed;
"Why make Pariahs of the Childless?" printed in The Age newspaper and written by Chris Fotinopoulous


Hi,
I found these very interesting.
I had already read the middle lot, but had not read the first article nor the last.

I agree that the 'childless' should not be made pariahs of, but I think the article ( written by a man) is rather ignorant of the experience of the last 30 years of your life. I suggest before he makes the finally decision ( or the finally 'cut') he should visit a few retirement villages, retirement homes and aged care facilities on all economic levels.
I think the thing that is missed by so many 'young' people IS the last 30 years of your life. Not the first 30 where they are making their 'mark', being productive and laying down their careers.
To go and visit (as you yourself have done many times since you were little singing in old peoples homes) the elderly at the end time of their lives ( and not just the disabled, sick or demented) is very informative for where life actually leads us.
(If ever we get the right to voluntary euthanasia of course it may have a different look.)

What I am trying to say, is that even though friends are a wonderful and important asset, there IS no substitute for family, in all their icky, dysfunctional and demanding guises when it comes to love, care and concern in the end times. Whether it be your grandfather or ****** ********* ( I am purposely choosing men here) the comfort and support family bring, and their ability to 'lobby' on your behalf as the world moves beyond your control is vital to longevity.

With children ( whether they be biological or adopted) your last years though bearable as long as your health holds, life seems a little softer and more explanatory through their eyes and love.
Children are not static beings. They are not always and forever a burden or a 'responsibility' unless of course they are damaged in any way.(Mentally, psychologically or emotionally). They grow into amazing and fabulous people who, if you are lucky, become your friend and confidante.
Also the studies now being done state that the more daughters a man has the longer he lives. Why? They didn't answer that one, but I am presuming because it is the daughters who give the continuum of children ( ie meaning) to life and they are also the champions of their aging parent.

I am lucky.

Love you
Mum