As each day goes past there is a realisation that I am hiding.
Is it a hibernation after Christmas 'family' gathering that came with stress?
Is it a 'time out' from the flurry of a trip to the 'big city' and doing more in 2 and 1/2 days than most do in several months.
Is it a break from hospital round ( ultra sounds on a lump in the leg), mamograms, GP visits and soon specialists rounds?
Or is it really a start of the 'coming of a hermit'.
It doesn't matter as whether I talk to someone or not does not impact on the economy, the society, work nor gain.
My work is done.
There is left but a skerrick of a responsibility to 'he who must be obeyed'.
It is of no real consequence.
So my hermit days may be starting and I find it alarming but only when it is compared to those who climb mountains ( what the hell for), discover 'fat people are costing the economy', report on the effects of climate change, or those who help others, teachers, doctors, service providers of all kinds.
Otherwise it is of no importance.
I have done giving birth to ideas, dreams, children, support for aged parents, and spreading love unbidden around the place so it can be smacked back in my face as threats.
I am done.
A little bit of realisation is not self pity.
I know what that is like, self pity. I allow it in myself now and again so that I may be rejuvenated.
But now..
My hermit days are ahead.
My foot print on the planet is getting smaller. I shall not be using up more oxygen, more space, more power, more energy than a man in a cave in a mountainside.
Come to think of it.
It is fine.
My god - ess
2 comments:
This is one of your more powerful postings. There were many things that went through my mind when I first read it early this morning. It caused me to pull out a copy of the Hawayo Takata Story. It is a book I have thoroughly enjoyed. I got it shortly after being trained as a Reiki practitioner. It has given me an idea for a future posting.
Your choice to hibernate is as good a choice as not doing so. The important thing is, what works for you.
There are not enough words for me to describe the pleasure I have received from reading your blogs and emails.
It is truly amazing how people across the globe can become such good friends without ever hearing the other's voice.
I can only hope that as you enter into your hermit days you will continue to see the beauty that abounds around you. I know it is there from previous postings, complete with photos.
There is also the beauty of your words. So, dear blogging friend, go into your hermitage with pleasure. Find the peace for which you so desperately search. And, by all means, stay in touch.
May peace and love be with you always.
Dear man!
Ta.
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