CULTURAL CRINGE

The real Aussie Citizenship Test





LANGUAGE



1. Are these terms related:
chuck a sickie; chuck a spaz; chuck a U-ey?



2. Explain the following passage:
"In the arvo last Chrissy the relos Rocked up for a barbie,
some bevvies and a few snags. After a bit of a Bex and
a lie down we opened the pressies, scoffed all the
chockies, bickies and lollies. Then we drained a few
tinnies and Mum did her block after Dad and Steve had
a barney and a bit of biffo."



CUSTOMS



1. Macca, Chooka and Wanger are driving to
Surfers in their Torana. If they are travelling at
100 km/h while listening to Barnsey, Farnsey and Acca
Dacca , how many slabs will each person on average
consume before having a slash?



2. Complete the following sentences:

a) "If the van's rockin' don't bother..........."

b) "You're going home in the back of a........."

c) "Fair suck of the.........."



3. I've had a gutful and I can't be fagged. Discuss



4. Have you ever been on the giving or receiving end of a wedgie?



5. Do you have a friend or relative who has a car in their
front yard "up On blocks"? Is his name Keith and does
he have a wife called Cheryl?





FOOD



1. Does your family regularly eat a dish involving
mincemeat, cabbage, curry powder and a packet of
chicken noodle soup called either chow mein, chop suey or
kai see ming?



2. What are the ingredients in a rissole?



3. Demonstrate the correct procedure for eating a Tim Tam.



4. Do you have an Aunty Myrna who is famous for her
tuna mornay and other dishes involving a can of cream
of celery soup?



5. In any two-hour period have you ever eaten three-bean
salad, a chop and two serves of pav washed down with
someone else's beer that has been nicked from a bath full of ice?



6. When you go to a bring- your-own-meat barbie can
you eat other people's meat or are you only allowed
to eat your own?



7. What purple root vegetable beginning with the
letter "b" is required by law to be included in
a hamburger with the lot?



CULTURE



1. Do you own or have you ever owned a lawn mower,
a pair of thongs, an Esky or Ugg boots?



2. Is it possible to have a "prang" while doing "circle work"?



3. Who would you like to crack on to?



4. Who is the most Australian: Kevin "Bloody" Wilson,
John "True Blue" Williamson, Kylie Minogue or Warnie?



5. Is there someone you are only mates with because
they own a trailer or have a pool?



6. Would you love to have a beer with Duncan?







The people to be granted citizenship are the ones
who call it a crock and cheat.