Jokes

White

The rain patters down and there knocks the door
They stand there with white American teeth
And their rich American shoes.

They come in and mount the stairs
bold and young and sure
With their white American attitudes.

I have been here so many times
What would they know
About the truth of life in Australia today.

They sit in their clean American pants
that women are not allowed to enter
Until the day of the big white American wedding.

They smile their jaunty charming American smiles
turn from me, a mere woman, to the man
Who holds my life in his body.

So young and white and dogmatic
Winkling out the reason he no longer 'believes'
Because he is then lost as a male leader.

I feed them hot chocolate and cold biscuits (not cookies)
And they have learnt finally that our Australian toilet
is not their American Bathroom.

They laugh easily these young Americans
from Idaho and Arizona, proud of their 'red' states.
(I withhold mentioning 'red' goes with 'neck'.)

They charm and talk of their rich white schools
And their bright white futures
(When they get home,) they can do 'anything' they want.

They messed in my head when I was but 17
And it revisits me now, whizzing memories of closetted lust
these little boys missing their mums ( moms).

We keep them warm and dry and, on direction,
scoop up a handful of lollies ( not candy) from our offering
as they hold out their long white fingers.

I say; "Write to your mothers and tell them you love them"
But that is because I would like my son to do the same.
And I hold their hands like an old crone offering poison.

Poison that is of an atheistic one for a believer
Poison that includes a wish for 'enlightenment'
That would jar their white American families.

They raise their black umbrella's against the Grey Australian sky
And skid their way down the driveway
Back to their white wet car.

This will be the last time.
It has taken 38 years to shake off their
White American influence...and now
It is finally gone.

MY Country! Fire in Victoria ( Flood in Queensland.)

The lips of red sienna lick the sky
while its babies race headlong up the rise
eating the grass as fast as you can watch.

The folding pastry of rolls of blackness
follow underneath
and blanket the mouths of the living.

The hungry fingers reach up and out
tumbling over itself
Feeding off the eucalyptus oil and racing itself to doom

"God put a ring around our house"
whilst babies are burnt alive in cars driven
wild by mad mothers trying to save them.

And the blame spews forth upon the land
Spews like the liquid embers melting the hopes
of the people of the bush.

"Unusually hot weather, unusually long drought
Unusually dry conditions and unusually high build up of
understory fuel."
But it is the "Greenies" fault, ( they scream).
"Cut down the bloody trees"...

Stupid stupid stupid
For we live in Dorothea McKellar's country.
We live in Black Man's domain
And still we ignore the way they survived
and treated the land with respect and awe.

And the ruffled people with blackened clothes
Fall into each other's arms.
They turn with abandoned looks and find
A nation worthwhile, a nation holding out its hands
its heart and its hope, to them.

No god in this, no predestination, no reason
apart from the glory and wonder of the mighty SHE.
Nature in all her complexity shows us 'what for'
When we forget our values and our needs
Too overridden by all that we 'want'.

With the next spit of rain will come
epicormic shoots that will green the hills
green the valleys and green our hopes again.

Remember...
there is no power but love.

I Love A Sunburnt Country

---

Written by Dorothea MacKellar (1908: written 1906)

The love of field and coppice,
Of green and shaded Lanes,
Of ordered woods and gardens,
Is running in your veins;
Strong love of grey-blue distance,
Brown streams and soft, dim skies -
I know but cannot share it,
My love is otherwise.

I love a sunburnt country,
A land of sweeping plains,
Of ragged mountain ranges,
Of drought and flooding rains,
I love her far horizons,
I love her jewel sea,
Her beauty and her terror -
The wide brown land for me.

The tragic ring-barked forests
Stark white beneath the moon,
The sapphire-misted mountains,
The hot gold hush of noon.
Green tangle of the brushes
Where lithe lianas coil,
An orchids deck the tree-tops
And ferns the crimson soil.

Core of my heart, my country!
Her pitiless blue sky,
When sick at heart around us
We see the cattle die -
But then the grey clouds gather
And we can bless again
The drumming of an army,
The steady, soaking rain.

Core of my heart, my country!
Land of the Rainbow Gold,
For flood and fire and famine,
She pays us back threefold;
Over the thirsty paddocks,
Watch, after many days,
The filmy veil of greenness
That thickens as we gaze.

An opal-hearted country,
A wilful, lavish land -
All you who have not loved her,
You will not understand -
Though Earth holds many splendours,
Wherever I may die,
I know to what brown Country
My homing thoughts will fly.

A Little Bit of Oz

http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=E0nPhbz3Mh8

Been meaning to thank Samuel L Jackson for showing a little bit of Australia
in his part at the Inauguration of President Obama.

He visits us often and always wears the beret that bears the insignia of a kangaroo.

Just in case you missed it.
WE didn't.

We were there too.

Thanks to Samuel L Jackson from Down Under.

From my Brother...so it must be true.

Because I'm a man

Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car, I will
fiddle with a coat hanger long after hypothermia has set in.

Calling AAA is not an option. I will win.
______________________________________________

Because I'm a man , when the car isn't running very well,

I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what

I'm looking at. If another man shows up, one of us will say

to the other, 'I used to be able to fix these things, but now

with all these computers and everything, I wouldn't know

where to start.' We will then drink a couple of beers and

break wind, as a form of holy communion.
_______________________________________________

Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone

to bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and

moan. You're a woman. You never get as sick as I do, so

for you, this is no problem.
_______________________________________________

Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic

groceries at the store, like beer, milk or bread. I cannot be

expected to find exotic items like 'cumin' or 'tofu.' For all I

know, these are the same thing.
_______________________________________________

Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops

working, I will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that

this will just cost me twice as much once the repair person

gets here and has to put it back together.
_______________________________________________
Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote

control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been

misplaced, I may miss a whole show looking for it.....though

one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator.....

______________________________________________
Because I'm a man, there is no need to ask me what I'm

thinking about. The true answer is always either sex, cars,

sex, sports or sex. I have to make up something else when

you ask, so don't ask.
_______________________________________________
Because I'm a man, I do not want to visit your mother, or

have your mother come visit us, or talk to her when she

calls, or think about her any more than I have to. Whatever

you got her for Mother's Day is okay; I don't need to see it.

And don't forget to pick up something for my mother, too.
_______________________________________________

Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the

movie. Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't

...and if you are feeling amorous afterwards....then I will

certainly at least remember the name and recommend it to

others.
_______________________________________________

Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I

thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine,

too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without it,

looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go

now?
_______________________________________________
Because I'm a man, and this is, after all, the year 2009, I

will share equally in the housework. You just do the laundry,

the cooking, the cleaning, the vacuuming, and the dishes,

and I'll do the rest...... Like wandering around in the garden

with a beer wondering what to do.

This has been a public service message for women to

better understand men.

Smile

Some smiles are needed right now.
HWMBO did not get a good report for his future health.
We will be ok, just need to process the whole information and reality. Thought we had a handle on all the info but some was held back from us.

It is no longer just a matter of 'yet another set of hips and all will be as it was'...but that second hip replacements are pure pain relief only. The number of things that can go wrong are astronomical.

Don't give me this shit about 'you are only sent that which you can bear'...that is pure rubbish.
There is no choice.

As so we have been told to 'sell up and move to easier quarters'.
Well we don't have an income so nosireeeeee...we can't do that. We will 'make do' and see how we can adjust the house which is actually our HOME, to accomodate our declining situation. We expected this at 68+...not now.

HWMBO will be turning 56 next Tuesday. I am taking him away for a 'naughty night'.

So no matter how much he dieted, or exercised, no matter how well he ate, or how much money he had...this is where we were bound to end up so soon, so soon.
Well...perhaps the lack of stress with the surety of a good income would have helped...would also help in not having to go on a 'waiting list' of 12+ months for the next op...but otherwise....here this lovely man is, through NO FAULT OF HIS OWN, accepting the next horror in the future.

26 January -221 years

Today was proclaimed our 'National Day' over hundred years ago.

Even though it rests a little ( a little) easier since the apology to the Stolen Generations last year by our new and youthful leader, it still rankles and sticks in the craw that we should celebrate "Australia Day" on the anniversary of the Invasion of this country by the British in 1788.

Our National Day should surely recognise the original inhabitants.
By continuing this farce we are reinterating the idea that New Holland/Australia, the Great Southern Land, was 'empty'. "Terra Nullius".

No it is still "Invasion Day" to we who have a conscience about such things.

Until we remove the Union Jack from our flag and proclaim a new National Day we will continue to do our indigenous brethren a huge injustice.

So;
In memory of our original inhabitants, I still will not 'celebrate' this day of Invasion.